Thursday, July 07, 2005

I ate the worm and the girl cried

My wife and I were visiting family over the weekend when the conversation turned to "crazy things that were done while intoxicated." My wife turned to me and said, "remember that time you made the Girl Scout cry at the Red Bank Music Festival." When I heard that, I knew I was in trouble. As she told the story, it made me laugh. A) Because it was funny and B) because of nostalgia. It used be when you were in your late teen years and early 20's, you could come up with a story like that every weekend, now it seems you are "lucky" if something funny happens every couple of years. Now, don't get me wrong, it is nice to grow up, but I will never begrudge someone a harmless intoxication every once in a blue moon.

My not yet wife and I were enjoying a hot, summer afternoon on the river at the Red Bank Music Festival with another couple. My buddy and I were enjoying a few beers and a occasional bottle of Snapple mixed with Rum (Not a good combo, especially in the heat). After a few hours, hunger set in, so we were off to visit the food booths set up around the park. As we stumbled around, we came upon a 4H booth where the volunteer was lecturing a pack of Brownie Girl Scouts on the merits and biology of the earth worm. After the class, the volunteer asked if there was any questions. I stepped up and asked, "What do they taste like?" Before there was an answer, I scooped a few up and wolfed them down. As we ran away, I could hear one of the Brownie Scouts crying over the fate of the swallowed worm.

Later that afternoon, we took a ride on a riverboat. A discussion ensued about "time". I chirped in with my two cents that time meant very little to me. To prove my point, I ripped off my favorite watch and much to the shock of many an innocent bystander, I threw it in the river. I miss that watch. Other than the memory of the hangover the next morning, you can see why my wife bringing up this discussion would provide a few chuckles. Like I mentioned at the top of the story, a harmless intoxication can be quite nostalgic.

Now, on to the beers.

Samual Adams Black Lager: This was a very good beer. Usually I am not too fond of the Sam Adams dark beers, but this one was done very nicely. Enjoyable. It will rank up there with the Sammy lager, ale, summer fest and winter fest brews.

Blanche de Chambly White Ale from Unibroue: Big disappointment. Hoegarden is one of my favorite white beers. This beer tasted exactly like Hoegarden. That was my disapointment. I wanted to try something that would taste differently. Couldn't taste the orange that the description said I would. I give the brewers credit though. Unibroue is a Canadian Brewery that brews Belgium style beer. Well, they got this one dead on.

Pierre Celis Signature Collection, Grotten Brown: Speaking of Hoegarden and Belgium beers, Celis is the man who got the party started. The Grotten Brown was aged in the Valkenburg Caverns. The beer tasted as good as it was rugged.

La Trappe Tripel: Trappist Ale brewed in the Abbey of Koning-Shoeven. Very smooth dark, strong ale. This Monk filled Abbey is in Holland. Which now makes it one of the few beers I enjoy from Holland.

Hennepin Ale: Ommegang Brewery, Cooperstown New York. A hoopy, crisp farmhouse ale, named after the priest who discovered Niagra Falls. Worth going over in a barrel for.

Becks Premier Light: I know, why would I even try this beer? One word, marketing. The TV Commercials brag about it having the fewest calories of any real beer. 64 calories per 12 oz. I wanted to see how much it tasted like water and the other water based light beers. Guess what? This beer has taste. Tastes like a real beer. I venture to say that it tastes better than most of our big brands' regular full bodied beers. This one will take the place of any other light beer for me. You have to try it.


At 6:53 PM, Anonymous bobby bush 1998 BDOY said...

Okay Dr. J.,
I'm curious as to why you believe your possesss such an extreme level of beeriness and have never won the Beerdrinker of the Year contest. Tat's probably an unimportant question at this particular juncture.
You write about hangover. So I must question your veracity and integrity. Prior to the time that I quit consuming the "King of Beers" and other close-to-water brews, about 1990, I must honestly confess that I've had but one morning-after hangover headache. And that one exception deserves an explanation....
Out for a night on the town at a nice local restaurant, I ordered a beer that I'd often heard of and knew somewhat about the brewery's lengthy heritage. But as it turned out, I knew nothing about the beer itself. I had several Yuengling Lagers, thinking in good conscience that I was drinking a nice craft brewed beer. Not until the next morning when I woke up with a hangover did I realixe that I had violated one of my self-imposed rules: I drank a beer with corn and/or rice extract.
Here's my theory, base on much reading and testing. When malted barley ferments it creates ethanol. When corn and rice ferment, fuscol alcohols are released as by-products. (Excuse my spelling). That's not the way god intended.
With the intention of cost reduction, budmillercoors is cheapening their "beer" with corn and rice extracts that contribute to hangover headaches.
Try it yourself some time. One night drink nothing but honest, reinheitsgebot beer. Make note of your mental and physical health the next morning. The next night drink an equal number of Yuengling or some other adulterated beer. Make note of the number of belches, farts and other gastrointestial malodies throughout the night and, the next morning, define your basic health status. I think most of us will notice a distinct difference.
Give it a try. What you drink is who you are!

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